


Older not wiser

by PoisonJack



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Just old guy!jack being a total menace to his caregivers, Old folk's home au i guess?, he's still spry and lively as ever, idk that doesn't exactly sound like what the fic is..., rhys' butt gets lots of pinches haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-19 17:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17005590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonJack/pseuds/PoisonJack
Summary: "Handsome" Jack Lawrence is a damn butt-pinching menace at the nursing home, and doesn't like any of the other volunteers except for Rhys xDFrom a request on tumblr:A prompt: "Hey, Rhys, how did your first day as volunteer go?" / "Great! The seniors at the old folks home are great! I just love reading to them, and getting them jello, and calling Bingo... but there's this one old guy who keeps chasing me with his walker, and pinching my ass, and calling me 'cupcake' for some reason... it's really weird."





	Older not wiser

**Author's Note:**

> This really wasn't in my usual purview of things to write but it turned out silly and really fun haha freakin' jack

He steeled himself as he walked into the old folks home. He had to remind himself that he signed up for this, and dammit he would see it through. Even if some of the residents were a little… _Feisty._

He was putting away the balls from the bingo set as the seniors mulled around to the next activity or to whatever it was they occupied themselves with in this place. That was an hour of his life he’d never get back.

“Rhys! Just the man I wanted to see!” His supervisor greeted him with a friendly smile and a chart in her hand. “Could you please assist in pull down service for Mr. Lawrence? His medication should be at the front. Danny is busy dealing with a jello emergency.”

“No problem,” Rhys told her with a snort, taking a chart from her with instructions and the like as he made his way throughout the building. He was wondering just what constituted a jello “emergency” with a smirk on his face until he realized where his feet were actually taking him.

‘Mr. Lawrence’ was the man he’d come to know as “Jack”, one of the old men who had early-onset Alzheimer’s, a very patient daughter in college out of state, and an injury from the war that required the use of a walker. None of this had any bearing on his liveliness and the sparkle in his eye when he saw Rhys, though. Jack had taken a shine to the younger man as soon as mismatched eyes met each other. 

That sparkle gave Rhys a whole world of trouble.

Jack sometimes forgot that they’d been introduced already, an incorrigible flirt who Rhys had to admit was really quite handsome in his younger years. He had shown Rhys photos and articles about his exploits from decades past many time now, and Rhys knew the man’s personality well. 

“Handsome Jack” is what he said he’d been called back in the day. The way the man flirted, Rhys had no doubt he’d been a force of nature. Especially if the saucy articles cut from tabloids were to be believed. 

He was a force to be reckoned with even now, and sometimes gave the other volunteers or nurses trouble when he refused his heart medicine or started issuing death threats til someone calmed him down. It was amusing and fun except for the constant ass-pinching when Rhys’ behind made a suitable target. He was the one the others called when Jack got into a snit. Just a few sweet words and Rhys could get the man to do what others couldn’t.

“Mr. Lawrence-”

“Jack, cupcake.”

Rhys’ lips pulled up in a smirk. “Jack. I’ve got your heart medicine here, and we’ll set you up real good for bed, okay?”

“The second one yes, the first one no,” the older man told him with stubborn eyes. “You gonna crawl in with me, Rhysie?”

Rhys ignored that, biting back the smirk as the man raised a brow at him. “Can’t you take your medicine for me?”

“I don’t need medicine. I’m fit as an ox,” Jack affirmed, looking annoyed. He ran a hand through his graying hair with a huff.

“Yeah I know,” Rhys told him, this conversation one they’d had several times before. “But can you take it for _me_ , handsome? I’ll get in trouble if you don’t, you know.”

The older man smirked. “Well when you ask me so pretty how can I say no?” Jack took his pills and Rhys took the empty paper cup from him with a smile. 

“My hero.”

“Now what about tucking me in for bed, cupcake?”

–

Rhys was bringing a change of pillow cases to one of the rooms the next afternoon when his ass got pinched. He shrieked to find Jack there laughing himself nearly into a fit. Once Rhys was sure he wouldn’t keel over, he continued on ignoring the older man’s endearments as he went about his duties. 

Jack might have been slow with his walker, but he was persistent, Rhys had to give him that. Jack kept after him, ordering other seniors out of his way and declaring himself uninterested in “old people’s games” when other nurses tried to get him to occupy himself without shadowing Rhys.

Jack was raising hell with Timmy, one of the new volunteers, when Rhys decided to rescue the other man. He’d finished his major tasks, and decided he could indulge Jack in his company.

“How about we go sit by the pond?” Rhys asked as Jack was giving Tim a steely glare. Rhys took Jack’s arm, getting his full attention and a silently mouthed ‘thank you’ from Tim as he took the older man outside into the twilight.

He helped Jack with his walker over the grass to sit and watch the goldfish that swam about in the artificial pond.

“I used to go fishing all the time, you know,” Jack told him. “Deep-sea. Big-ass sharks and shit. Had to give it up after taking that damn bullet though. Couldn’t reel in shit after that without falling in.”

“You couldn’t swim with the wound?” Rhys asked, the older man just eating up his attention.

“Can’t swim period,” Jack admitted with a huff and a frown, quickly replaced with a smirk as he looked at the young man. “If I fell in, do you know CPR cupcake?”

“It’s not even a foot deep, Jack,” Rhys told the older man, looking at the fish pond. 

Jack laughed, the smile lines at his eyes deep. He brushed a hand through his mop of gray hair as he gave the young man a look. “That’s not what I asked, Rhysie.”

“I’m CPR, AED, and JL certified.”

“What’s JL?”

“Jack Lawrence.”

The older man laughed and pat Rhys’ thigh, wheezing at the younger man. Again, Rhys wondered if he was going to keel over from laughing so damn hard at him. “You’re too much. Alright, I’m hungry. What do they got to eat around here?”

“It’s turkey and mashed potatoes today,” Rhys said, helping him up. “And jello for dessert.”

“I hate jello,” Jack told him. “Rather have cupcakes.”

Rhys threatened to leave him to his own devices if he pinched his ass again, and Jack just howled in laughter as he was taken back inside the facility.

**Author's Note:**

> Jack might be slow, but he's persistent AHAHAH
> 
> [my tumblr](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/) | [my fic masterlist archive](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/post/134979026515/poisonjack-ao3-fic-archive) | [my twitter](https://twitter.com/PurgeThatUrge) | [my pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/PoisonJack)  
> (Just an FYI: you'll need to be logged in to tumblr for my blog to show up since it's marked explicit :D)
> 
> Please leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed! ao3 FAQ: [Can I post comments anonymously, or if I don't have an Archive account? ](https://archiveofourown.org/faq/comments-and-kudos?language_id=en#anoncomment)


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